Need I Say More

Memorial Day 2014

Happy Memorial Day

I Am No Expert But.............

So I did this interview today with a website I will be writing a monthly column beginning in June. Now one of the first questions was "How would you tell tell someone how to have a successful recovery?"
Now first off that question caught me off guard. Reason being I by no means am qualified to answer that question. I consider myself just a goofy guy who writes about his goofy life. I have no degree. I have no licence. All I can do is share my "experience, strength and hope".
So I started thinking what has made my recovery successful?

1. I Made My Recovery #1
I had to recover for myself and no one else. I had to keep telling myself I can't do this for my family, girlfriend, anybody. It may sound selfish but its the only way I felt I could successfully recover.

2.Communication
This was so vital for me. Communication is usually the reason things fail,My first marriage, some business ventures but most important I was a loner in my last couple years of active addiction. So picking up the phone, talking with the professionals I was working with and talking with other addicts who knew my story all to well but they were able to get through it and start to recover.

3.Just For Today
I hated these slogans of the the 12 Step program I now live. But Just for Today made so much sense. I couldn't dwell on the past. What was done was done. Yet I couldn't and I still don't look very far into the future. All I could do was stay clean today. Sometimes I could only concentrate on every 10 minutes but hey so far its worked.

4. People
If you have friends that may put your recovery in trouble, then its time to find some new friends. Friends that will have your best interest in mind. Friends that care about you.

5.Places
Now I'm not talking a geographical change by any means, but you can't be hanging out at the local drug house thinking you got a strong recovery program. If you do decide to pack up and leave town that doesn't always work either.Just remember you always take yourself with you. If you live in a neighborhood where the addiction is just outside your front door you can still recover just change your enviorment. Do those positive things that you have always wanted to do this will also stimulate your recovery. I love cultural events and they are happening all the time. Recovery is so much easier when positivity surrounds you.

6. Join a Support Group
Without the 12 step program and fellowship I have in my life I definitely would have never made it. The tools and help the program has given me you cannot put a price on. The value and wisdom has shaped the way I live my life today. I have seen this happen to many many lives even in such a short time.

7.Slow Down Take it Easy
The old saying we didn't become addicted in one day so easy does it. That saying I have learned to be so true. Recovery is not a destination it is a process. I made sure I tried not to overwhelm myself. The first 90 days for me was just about not using. All the other stuff would come with time. Rome wasn't built,made or conquered in a day and recovery won't happen overnight. Again its a process.

8.Volunteer
That's right give back. Your in recovery and what has been so freely given to you now not only can you give back to others in need but Service work in your support group or donating time at a local non profit can also pay great dividends to you AND your recovery. Not only will volunteering give you're self esteem a positive boost but it will give you that great feeling of accomplishment and pride.

9.Get Physical.
You have spent how long putting chemicals into your body? If that isn't enough to want to get you to start taking care of yourself what will? Eating right was another positive part of my recovery as it not only helped improve me physically but mentally.

10. Don't Give Up
Don't give in to the disease of addiction. It is not a battle you will win successfully. Use any desire you have as the motivation to have that new life you want so bad. Recovery is possible it happens everyday. You are not reinventing the wheel. You are giving yourself the life you deserve.

It's Summer!!!!!

So I was reading Leah Miranda's post Top 10 Sober Summer Activities (#sobersummer). I was inspired to do my top 10 list ( Thanks Leah!!!). Now I must admit summer has been on my mind for ohhhh let's see since December 26 and I have been mentally putting the list together. Now are these total sober or clean events - No not by any stretch of the imagination but as long as I stay clean and sober. So I would suggest if your not sure if you can handle the surroundings don't put yourself in those surrounding's. Now I'm not saying I went and hung out in drug houses and bars last summer. In fact last summer was the first "clean" summer I had in decades but last summer was filled with anxiety and panic attacks too and I did attend some events that sold alcohol or had people getting high. I ended up going to the local jazz fest here twice last summer once to see Dr.John and once to see my all time fav Delbert McClinton but I went with a huge sober support who would have broken my arms if I tried anything ( Thanks Sean). I also went to see Steve Winwood, The Allman Brothers and Styx. Again I went with another supporter and left when I wanted to. Some may argue that that wasn't a smart for me so early but it worked. So anyway back to my Summer of 2015 list of things I plan on accomplishing.

1. Bonfires
OK I agree the above picture looks more like a California wildfire or a meteor landing but last summer I did some bonfires and for some reason they were so cool. I really can't tell you why.I mean all we did was try not to get eaten alive by insects and just shoot the shit but still it was relaxing and I was hanging with good friends and that was perfect for me. So more bonfires this summer I say.

2. ADK
OK not making a trip to the Adirondacks wouldn't make my summer  complete its something I have done since I was little and even though I missed many years because I was off doing something else. I went last year and spent the week with my niece and had an awesome time. So why not do it again. Something about that "peaceful easy feeling", breakfast at "Good Times", Ice Cream at "Northern Lights " fireworks on the dock. No cell, no internet, no TV.

3. Read a Book

It had been years since I had read a book. It had been years since I had learned anything. Last summer I decided to read a book but just not any book a book that would take some time to read. A book that I could learn from. A book I would enjoy. So I looked and looked and funny thing was the book was right in front of me the entire time. Heck the book is probably close to you. I picked The Bible. Now I was brought up catholic. Catholic elementary school, Catholic High School ( until I was asked to leave). But I had never opened up a Bible. Now while I was running in active addiction any thought of a higher power just did not exist except of course for my 911 higher power. So now being clean I was trying to find my spirituality my higher power. So if I'm gonna reconnect why not read the book. So I read the Old Testament last summer. I learned so much and it got me to reconnect with my higher power. Now this summer I will read the New Testament.

4. Grilling
There is nothing like the taste of a huge burger with the juice dripping off of it,all the condiments overflowing onto a hard bun. Or the perfect taste of a tender steak with grilled corn on the cob and the unbelievable taste popping salt potatoes. Now if you were at any of the parties I was at last summer you know I can't grill for shit but I do love to eat and I do look good in an apron.

5. North Wildwood, NJ,
I miss North Wildwood so much. I lived there when I was in my late teens and I had some of the best summers ever. I lived in a 2nd floor shack by the ocean and I guarantee there is nothing like it. The ocean air, the unbelieveable seafood, stress less and beautiful plus I got a friend who has never been to the ocean who am I to deny that to them. Sounds like a road trip !!!!

6. Cigars
 To me the pleasure of after a hard day of work going out on the back deck and smoking a couple of cigars with a few buddies and the conversation starts flowing. Politics anyone?

7.Hometown Festivals
At least in the town I currently live in from about May to September There seems  to be a festival every night of the week. The International Jazz Fest, Corn Hill Arts Festival, Park Ave Fest, Clothes Line Fest. I could go on and on. Grab a Red Oiser ( great roast beef sandwich). Plus I love to people watch so I will definitely be hitting some of those.

8.Block Island,Rhode Island
This place is a hidden jewel. Block Island is like the Hamptons for the middle class. The way to get there is to take a ferry from Point Judith,NY you can bring your car on the ferry if you want but I suggest leave the car and rent a moped or bicycle to go around the island. Lighthouses are a stop you want to see. All the restaurants are top notch. Yes there are touristy shops and all that but it doesn't look or even feel like it. The beaches seem like they never end and the locals are the nicest people you'll ever meet.The island actually has that old southern look and attitude. I love going here. A three day stay is ideal for me and really gives me that chance to suck it all in.

9. Do Something for Someone
Whether you volunteer or contribute to a cause  that is awesome but try doing something nice for someone in your family or someone who is a person who does for others all the time but its rare

they are recognized. I am actually taking my 82 year old mother to go see Kieth Urban in July. I am not a fan of country music and to be honest I have never even heard a Kieth Urban song. But hey my mom has a crush on Kieth Urban and thats OK with me so were going to go to the show.

10.Stay Clean

This actually will be the most important thing I will do all summer. I must keep my program active,attend my meetings and do my service work. With keeping true to staying clean how can I not have a great summer.

What Do You Want From Life?

What Do You Want From Life

The Tubes

What do you want from life?

To kidnap a heiress

Or threaten her with a knife

What do you want from life?

To get cable TV

And watch it every night

There you sit

A lump in your chair

Where do you sleep?

And what do you wear?

When your sleeping.

What do you want from life?

An Indian Guru

To show you the inner light?

What do you want from life?

A meaningless love affair

With a girl you met tonight?

How can you tell when your doin alright?

Does your bank account swell

When your dreaming at night?

How do you know when your really in love?

Do violins play

When your touching the one

That your loving

What do you want from life?

Someone to love

Or somebody you can trust

What do you want from life?

To try and be happy

And do the nasty things you must?

Well you can't have that

But if you are an American citizen, you are entitled to

A heated kidney shaped pool

A microwave oven-dont watch the food cook

A dyna gym-- I'll personally demonstrate it in the privacy of your own home

A full size titanic unsinkable molly brown waterbed with poybendum

A foolproof plan and an airtight alibi

Real simulated Indian jewelry

A Gucci shoetree

A years supply of antibiotics

A personally autographed picture of Randy Mantooth

And Bob Dylan's new unlisted phone number
A beautifully restored 3rd Reich swizzle stick
Rosemary's baby
A dream date in kneepads with Paul Williams
A new matador a new mastador
A maverick, A mustang, A montego
A merc Montclair, A mark IV, A meteor
A Mercedes, An MG, A malibu
A Mort moriarty, A Mercedes, A Mac truck
A Mazda, A new Monza or a moped
A Winnebago, hell a herd of Winnebagos we're giving them away
Or how about a McCulloch chainsaw
A las Vegas wedding
A Mexican divorce
A solid gold kama sutra coffee pot
Or a baby's arm holding an apple

Need I say more?

The Status Update

Wow lots going on in Dave's world and I couldn't be any more happy or hopeful. I'll be explaining a little more on those things in a bit First though I must give credit where credit is due and that's is my recovery. Without my recovery none of the good things would be possible. Recovery has given me my life back. Recovery has restored my relationship my higher power. This was a relationship I had chose to ignore not even acknowledge. I know that my higher power was always there but now that I acknowledge his presence I can now do the things that I couldn't before because I know he is there. Now I'm not saying by any means that life is not problem free. I have problems many many problems but I chose to face these problems instead of running away getting high and choosing to ignore them. Recovery has done this for me.
So quick update. The Rochester Recovery Film Festival is going great we look like we have a location,which was my first concern. Looks also like we have our first film we will be showing and that will all be announced very soon. Next I am going to be doing a story for sobernation.com I am very happy and excited about this opportunity.Second after much thought and much encouragement I have teamed up with an experienced author and have begun to write a book. This feels like a slow process but it really isn't considering they want this out by November. I am also finally getting a band together and I am super stoked about the players and people that I am going to be working with. Still got a couple of players to get yet but once they see everybody else it shouldn't be a problem.