Collateral Damage

Collateral Damage is damage to things that are incedental to the intended target. It is frequently used as a military term where it can be referred to the incedental destruction of civilian property or Non-combat casualties.
I have never been in the Military but I have been to war. That war was the war of my addiction and yes there was and has been collateral damage. Professionals call them codependents.
When the military plans a mission the collateral damage is figured in and I'm sure then debated is the mission's collateral damage "worth it" or not. Whether you agree with it or not it is a part of our lives and I am sure has been for centuries.
 As much as I hate to even think about my collateral damage I do feel in away that I do need to keep it fresh in my mind. Why because that is the worst feeling I get when I remember my collateral damage.
During my active addiction it was all about me and my need to get one more. I did not concern myself how others and usually that meant ones that I love and was  dependent upon would feel or the damage sometimes irreplaceable that I would inflict upon them. Now I can't go around blaming myself  for everything I did . I have a disease of addiction.
In my active addiction I didn't have a choice I needed to feed my addiction. A lot of the damage done was done to my myself and I realize that and can accept that today but the damage I did to others still weighs heavily on me but on the flip side serves as a huge motivator to stay in recovery.
So what in Gods name is my reasoning for writing this post?
Good question.  Let's face it though no one an addict or not no wants to think about it and sometimes I feel our mind tries to  file it way back in that file cabnet in our head. So that's why I have tried to in my recovery try to offer any assistance or help to people who have loved ones in active addiction. It does remind me of my collateral damage from my active addiction and even the collateral damage I may have now as I work on other character defects I have.Some of the damage I have caused may never be repaid because its either just not possible in this lifetime or it couldn't be settled without causing more damage to myself or others. So I keep myself clean and better and constantly strive for better.
Sometimes though it is necessary at least in my case to have that reminder and just offer those who may be going through pain and suffering with that loved one  just a "Hey I know what your going through" or just the fact that someone cares enough to listen and know they are being thought of. Sometimes you don't really have to know that person.
Which brings me to why I wrote this post. During my travels on the internet I came upon a woman, a mother,and maybe an overall saint. She writes a blog that deals with the trials of having a son who is in active addiction and when I say active I mean like right now. She is a single mom with two other young daughters caught in this mess. Her name is Susan and I have never met her or even talked with her. I have been basically lurking in the shadows of her blog reading every word she prints (sorry that sounded creepy).Today it actually wasn't even a post on her blog it was just a I need to get this off my chest status rant and when I read it. I could feel her frustration, her helplessness feeling and I sent her a comment. A very basic comment because really I did not know what to say because I know what those feeling are on both sides of the fence so all I said was "so true,every word of it. I hear you" because as much as we feel as humans to give adce or our opinion sometimes people just need to know they are not alone.Someone They just need to know someone anyone is there. The other thing is Susan is not even in this country she is actually across "the pond" in the United Kingdom. Here is a link to her blog
livingwithmydrugabusingteenager.blogspot.com

By the way 15 minutes after I left that comment I received a "thanks"  and that my friends made my day.