The Status Update

Wow lots going on in Dave's world and I couldn't be any more happy or hopeful. I'll be explaining a little more on those things in a bit First though I must give credit where credit is due and that's is my recovery. Without my recovery none of the good things would be possible. Recovery has given me my life back. Recovery has restored my relationship my higher power. This was a relationship I had chose to ignore not even acknowledge. I know that my higher power was always there but now that I acknowledge his presence I can now do the things that I couldn't before because I know he is there. Now I'm not saying by any means that life is not problem free. I have problems many many problems but I chose to face these problems instead of running away getting high and choosing to ignore them. Recovery has done this for me.
So quick update. The Rochester Recovery Film Festival is going great we look like we have a location,which was my first concern. Looks also like we have our first film we will be showing and that will all be announced very soon. Next I am going to be doing a story for sobernation.com I am very happy and excited about this opportunity.Second after much thought and much encouragement I have teamed up with an experienced author and have begun to write a book. This feels like a slow process but it really isn't considering they want this out by November. I am also finally getting a band together and I am super stoked about the players and people that I am going to be working with. Still got a couple of players to get yet but once they see everybody else it shouldn't be a problem.

Same Shit Different Day-Right?

Sometimes I have these days and I've come to the conclusion that these types of days are no one else's fault but my own. I become obsessed with time. I  want things to happen now. I know I have written about this before. It is obviously a major thing in my life right now.I get frustrated and feel like each day becomes "Same Shit, Different Day". I will have no ambition and don't feel like I am advancing with,well just life in general. Then things become monotonous, boring and again frustrating. These things lead to thoughts that I really don't want in my head. Thoughts that I have been fighting the last 19 months.When really I should just be happy I made it through another day clean.
I have heard about people making lists of things that they are grateful for each day. Now I'm not an expert on these lists but I am assuming that they make these lists first thing in the morning. Now I've never done one of these lists because to be honest I've thought they were stupid, silly even below me. Why? Best answer I can give is I'm judgmental and probably its also my ego. I know stupid right? Well thats why I'm telling on my self right now.
So things I am grateful for.

Seeing this is the first time I'll be doing this I want to do it correctly.So let's see what The McGraw-Hill Dictionary of American Idioms and Phrasal Verbs has to say.

Taking Someone or Something for Granted-  To expect someone or something  to be always available to serve in someway without thanks or recognition; to value someone or something too lightly.

Well pretty simple, pretty self explanatory Right? OK I'm gonna start with what should be most obvious but it isn't. To see, To touch, To Taste, To Feel, To Smell, To Love, To Hear and To Laugh. Our Freedom is another thing we have everyday that I'm sure gets taken everyday. But what about those things that get me through the day that I never really am thankful for but are so important. Music for me is like a lifeline but do I appreciate the science, the art,the mathematics that design it?Communication look how far this has come and some of us couldn't live without it. Water is another thing we can't live without ( literally, people)Breathing not air. The process of how we breath but don't even realize we are doing it.

What things do you take for granted?

Time Can Change Me But I Can't Change Time

I knew I just knew this day would come. It actually came last Friday when I was at this meeting. I've been waiting for it. You would think maybe just maybe I would be happy about it, maybe even ecstatic. I'm not. Why?  Not sure to be honest. I mean this is what I did my whole life until about nine years ago. This is what I loved to do. This is what I lived for this was my breath, my soul, my mojo right?
So what's the problem? I don't know and believe me its got me pissed off.
OK if your still with me thanks but I can't promise it will get much better at all. So you have an idea of what I am talking about I'll have to turn back the hands of time.

OK I was an entertainer, musician, singer what ever you want to call it for a huge chunk of my life about 17 years and damn I was good. I had to go through many many obstacles but that didn't mean shit to me I had one goal and that was it. I accomplished a lot of my goal to do my art full time and I accomplished that for many years. I've done things and been to places people will never have the chance to experience. I've hung with the best and have been treated the way people only could wish for and as much as that may sound egotistical I can promise you this I never ever took a minute of it for granted.
Well about 7,8 or 9 years ago I can't really remember right now I said fuck it I don't want to do this anymore. I've had enough. Why did I say that? Not really sure, maybe the drugs became more important. There was also a ton and I mean a ton of other shit going on in my life which I am not going to get into so I think it may have been a combination of everything. Anyway that was it. Yeah I burned a lot of bridges at the end and its something I've tried to repair. Some people may never get past that and even though that sucks I accept that. I will also say I helped many many peoples lives and career. I put many people's wants ahead of my own and my first wife. We sacraficed a lot and that was my own fault there were many things I should have done differently but I can't foucus on those things because those instances are out of my control there is nothing I can do about the past except for make the future better right? So like I said I've tried to make amends where I could and some people can't accept that and I understand that again and if your one of those people reading this hey I love ya and when your ready I'm here.

So since the day I said "fuck it" I've regretted it everyday since but yet everyday since I haven't been able to say " OK let's do it". I have been getting stronger everyday though and Friday after having a brief conversation with someone I had just met and even though it has been my mind rather seriously the past couple of weeks this conversation ignited a spark within me probably because he told me he was going through something and guess what. Well what he told me was exactly what I have been going through. Obviously it was awesome just to know someone was going thru the same thing. That spark was still flickering in me throughout the weekend but today I felt like I took a step backwards and it pissed me off. Im not giving up though I'll make it happen somehow someday.CH CH CH CH Changes